We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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