I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
