So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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