We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
