It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
