She is in my trunk
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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