Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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