lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
