at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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