What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
