yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
