i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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