So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize