i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
being pregnant is like rehab
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
