I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
