he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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