doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
