Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
