so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
