PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize