What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
