im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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