ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
