Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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