i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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