trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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