So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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