nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
