I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
How external is "for external use only"?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
