the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Randomize
