Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
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