like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
