she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
thus making me awesome and them whores
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Randomize
