yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
