You made me cry and you don't even care
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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