Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
i now understand why vodka
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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