guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize