I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Randomize
