Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
