If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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