There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
