I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
