If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
