Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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