Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
