Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
