I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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