there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
