So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
