so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
