Michael Bay diarrhea
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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