Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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