Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
