is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
