I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I have post one night stand depression
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