some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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