well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
