He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
