Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
