I didn't shave. On purpose
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
vagina is talking i cant
bring money and cleavage
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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